Hijabaholic


Since the UCD Syariah debate that went totally W.R.O.N.G, and the Irish kept saying that we women in hijab are being oppressed, suppressed and depressed. That we've to suppress our beauty (or lack of it), thus we're being oppressed.and it got me a bit sad, and a bit de-motivated, like I work for Islam but for whom? Who am I catering for? Y am I doing this? Why should I even try so hard? For whom? The Irish? The Society? For me? For whom??and I even wondered why I wear a hijab day in and day out. Why do I hold it ever so dear to me?so let's try answering the common questions I get asked on the streets or elsewhere.Why do I wear hijab?People won't accept it if we say cause Allah asked me to. Coz I won't get raped is not a good enough answer, in fact, it's insulting- i won't get raped, but you will!! Nor should I say "coz men have desire for women"- that's like belittle-ing men. It's like saying men can't control themselves. When we know that they can.So i say " Cause it's my identity, I'm proud to be a muslim, and I'm proud of showing everyone that I'm a muslim" .Women are oppressed because of hijab.Oppressed is a word used to mean that someone is being kept down by forceful authorities- means that she is doing something out of her will, like she has no choice in it. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but we are all humans, no?And everybody has ideas and choices. So, I choose to put on the hijab day in, and day out. And if someday, I decide that I don't want to wear the hijab, I will just take it off. If life is about choices, and oppression is about not being able to choose, am I still being oppressed by CHOOSING to wear the hijab?Let's tell a short story. I'm doing medicine, 2nd year. In these awfully P.A.I.N.F.U.L few years, I've been through sleepless nights, aching body, my mind hurts, stress, hypertension and a f*ck load of harm. I've been lonely, depressed and shattered. (Note* all mentioned are using past tense). But why am I doing this to myself? Y go through the pain and hurt to be a doctor instead of just a kindergarten teacher?1) It's for the future. I can be Rich someday- maybe. If not rich (aka- I won't be able to own a Chanel bag), I'd at least have enough to pay the rent and bills.2) Well, somebody's gotta do it. I'm not exactly stupid. If I become the latter, I'd be wasting my potentials.3) For the ummah. for basicly, we live as one.So if I'm doing this, for the betterment of thefuture, I am regarded high in the society, an intellect and a professional.Thus if I know that God wants me to wear the hijab and I wear it, in promise of Paradise, shouldn't I be regarded as someone perfectly wonderful? And if someday (God forbid!) I decide to take the hijab off, wouldn't I be oppressing myself in the hereafter?Our ideas of oppression are at two far ends of a dog, and my ideas aren't being slapped in the media, or shouted halfway across the country. I feel oppressed when people tell me that they feel I'm being oppressed. It hurts and it feels somewhat sad.S0, If you say that you wear Hijab couse Allah wants you to, will you say that the non-hijab wearing muslims are bad muslims?- this is like a trick question, they wanna know what we think of them.My answer is no. Of course not. *back to the medicine ideology* Like, I'm doing medicine and I'm fumbling steps by steps, but some friends sail through it like a breeze in the sea.It's the same as hijab. Some women can wear them, some just find it difficult. Like when I first put on the hijab, I was 10 and it was in the UK. From being one of the most popular girl in school, I was an outcast. Nobody wanted to befriend me, I couldn't walk anywhere without people staring at me. It was H.A.R.D with capital letters all around.So since God made us, everyone of us (assuming all of us believe in God, frankly, I have a hard time believing I evolved from apes-am I glad I live in the 21st century, it'd kill me if I looked in the mirror and saw an ape lol) ok, so since God made us, I'm more than very certain that he understands the problems that some of us face where others may not encounter. And only He knows, so only He can tell whether someone is a good muslim or far from it.And me? I'm treating everyone the same, I'm not passing judgement. Any religion teaches their followers to be kind, and it's the same everywhere.It's not a black and white print of what's right and what's wrong. It's not that rigid. But we will talk about syariah another time.And based from what I just said, I now can firmly say that I now know why I wear the hijab.







DUnia dan syurga



I'm going to touch on something that i don't really know about, so I'd really, really like and appreciate it if you guys can come in and correct me if im wrong! Cause trulyI want to learn, but sometimes I'm sombong. So really tell me what i dont know.When i was young, In religious education class, I had this ustazah telling us about heaven. And what she said is still in my head, since i was 13 till now, till im 21."dalam syurga akan ada banyak bidadari yang cantik-cantik, yang manis dan akan sentiasa memikat suami kita. Dalam syurga, wanita akan berebut dengan bidadari untuk perhatian suami kita."That, I thought was a bit over-whelming, unjust and like gila....like in this life, im like kinda sooo jeles when I think ofmy boyfriend (ex now) talking to some other girl, peramugari (which he calls bidadari), kadang2 i get slightly jeles dgn his guyfrens, family, etc.. aha.. But thats just me being me, and imagine in heaven I have to fight for his attention, berebut dgn bidadari syurga. The bidadaries yg sgt cantik, melayan sbg pelayan.. I would so loss..Huu,,and that got me thinking, Thats not the concept of Heaven! Life on Earth is a challenge, something Allah sets for us, and for us to remember why we are here. And heaven, heaven is a gift, a reward for doing the right thing at all times. When i say the right thing, I don't just mean physically. doing the right thing is something that u need to do inside! Hilang rasa dendam, hilang rasa marah, hilang the want to always create drama, to not get too emotionally attached to a human, to love Allah more than u love anything else, to learn inside u to forgive. To be kind. To love Allah. to emphasis. hehe..So, thats what this is about. It's about believeing in Allah, that he won't forsake you. Heaven will not be cruel as such, Heaven is un imaginable, but it really wont be a place where I'd need to fight again. NO! It wont be..Yg got me thinking as well, were the 7 lapisan syurga. I thought of it, I really did. Kat dunia we have the few lapisan, The rich, the poor, the antara, the broke.But I know Allah is fair! Yg maha adil. meaning the poor can be the golongan atas di syurga, even the rich can be there. The best part is, perasaan hasad dengki dan perasaan like 'You miskin sbb u malas pun xkan ada'. But I think thats the reason why ukhwah and friendship and family mesti ada, so we can all work together to get there..But sometimes I forget. I too want this, but I too leka dalam solat juga. Kadang2 i lagha, tgk movie org kissing, i lupa turn away (aha!), u know.ni just reflecting. I baru balik usrah. esok, we'll see how things go. Reflection and reflecting is a way of living (;